


To Autumn

by incendiolumosnox



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Autumn, Eventual Smut, F/M, Getting Back Together, M/M, Make Up, Parents, Post-Divorce, Producer Park Chanyeol, Writer Byun Baekhyun, post breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-05-31 07:09:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19420981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/incendiolumosnox/pseuds/incendiolumosnox
Summary: A successful novelist Byun Baekhyun. with a baby and a broken home.Chanyeol with a dead husband and a broken, withered heart.Can they re-kindle their love when it's broken? Can they find each other, which they lost years back?





	1. Dried Leaves

_They had fallen out of love, at least that’s what she said._

_It was autumn, just the way the leaves had dried up, and the skies had begun turning lilac, orange. And just how nature was slowly withering away, her love did too._

_It isn’t wrong to feel so; except for the people who’s seemingly the most attached to you might not take it too well._

Something that Baekhyun certainly did not expect on their 2nd marriage anniversary. Holding the 6-month-old baby in his arms, he felt like his world had crashed around him.

“Don’t take it wrong, love. But our relationship of almost 4 years, our marriage and now this baby. I haven’t been breathing for myself and I want to. I haven’t given myself the time and, in this world, I can’t just remain at home taking care of a baby. I know you might be finding this ridiculous but please understand. It is not like I hate you or our child; my love can never be less for either, but I feel terrible for tying myself down to this.”

_Baekhyun and Ji Na were never the typical ‘soulmates’ that both had always wished for; in reality, they had been set up by their parents. No, not those typical marriages to benefit either business, but their parents had just thought that they were a good match. And somewhere in the middle of this and due to their easy-going and bubbly attitudes, they clicked well and eventually got married. While Baekhyun had naturally begun to love her, somewhere his wife had hidden her real thoughts. Baekhyun loved her, was really possessive of his lovely wife, to him, she was like the cherry blossoms. He literally worshipped the earth she walked on, and most importantly she had filled the void his ex-lover had created in his heart when he left him to pursue higher studies._

He felt confused, all these years when he had been pressing her to know what she really felt about the entire situation; she had never said anything. And today when they especially needed to be there with each other; to raise the child who was a product of their love; she wanted to leave? He felt like his heart was withering away once again.

_So, everyone has to leave at some point, right? And this time it is her?_

After all these trials and errors did he learn to love someone for the second time, and had also learned to eventually let them go when the time comes. Even now that this ordeal was crushing his heart, he agreed.

“Love, I’m sorry if I never took your feelings into account. You can walk out of this marriage, please don’t be sorry. I should have been more understanding. Don’t worry about our child, I’ll take care of this little bean. He’ll grow up fine, and I will make sure of that. He will always know who you are and what you mean to both of us. Go, live your life the way you’ve been craving for.”

A silent tear left his eyes. It hurt.

“I’m sorry, Baek. I really am and I trust you that you will take care of him.” She walked up to their baby’s cradle, where Baekhyun had laid him down, and caressed his head, “I’m sorry baby, I haven’t been a good mother to you.”

For one last time, Baekhyun held her in his arms, soaking in the lavender smell he has loved for all these years, “You’ve been the best thing for both of us, don’t say that.”

With a soft cry, she held him tightly, “Baek? Baby? Don’t stop yourself okay? Live your life, live for yourself and not for me; and fall in love with someone who will always be there for you. Go out more often, and don’t worry. I’ve explained everything to our parents, they will help you raise him. I am sorry.”

He chuckled to himself, to all the empty promises, to every hope he had ever clung onto. 

It all crumbles down in the end. 

Everyone is bound to be alone. 

Once again. 

…

_6 months later._

Baekhyun never loathed her for what she did. But the fact that he felt hurt, was an understatement; he was crushed. Ji Na’s sudden departure, followed by their divorce; the void in his heart had been ripped apart, once again. He vowed to be a better person this time, raise their son, Ha Joon, in the best possible way.

Baekhyun who was a successful novelist, living his dream and he had resumed writing full-fledged. He even began teaching at the university Korean Literature and Art Appreciation. His university students loved him and his loyal fans loved his books. He was not only appreciated for the wonderful books he had been publishing, but also for this teaching. Everyone began loving him more. Of course, his divorce did create a certain impact; he was seen with pity eyes every time he went out in public with or without his child, but a book in the next three months of their divorce had completely changed the way the river flowed.

His childhood best friend, Minseok was his editor and he couldn’t feel more blessed than that. Minseok’s husband was another sweetheart, Jongdae; who also stood by him, in the storm.

Every week while Baekhyun was at the university, either his parents or Jongdae would take care of Ha Joon. Jongdae was a vocal training coach and everyone at SM, and he would take the child with him there. Everyone had grown fond of Ha Joon; they cooed at the small boy and took turns to take care of him.

While Baekhyun’s parents felt pity for both their son and their grandchild; many times, his mother would almost start crying to see the child growing up without a mother; but they made sure to never a breakdown in front of their children. They cradled both their sons with love.

Sitting in one corner of the café, that Minseok owned; Baekhyun was furiously typing out the last bits to his new novel. The cups of coffee kept piling up and his thoughts weren’t taking a halt. Handling Ha Joon was never a task; as much as the child was easy going and lovable; people who had volunteered to take care of him, were also lovely.

He was lost in his own world when loud cries broke his thought process. Looking around he sees Ha Joon, in Jongdae’s hand, crying loudly. Baekhyun abandoning everything runs to his baby and takes him to his heart. The small child might be hungry, or is he missing his mother; immediately making Baekhyun feel guilty.

“Baby, are you hungry? Dae, do you have the formula to give him?” Baekhyun would usually get flustered every time Ha Joon would cry, and his guilt would start resurfacing.

“Excuse me, can I help? You’re surely struggling with this little munchkin”

“No th..thank you.”

“Oh, it is you, Baekhyun-ah!’

_“Chanyeol?”_


	2. Rosy Hues

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fate does play quite cruel games.

Ha Joon, was actually a blessing; not just in Baekhyun’s life but also everyone who has ever been involved in the latter’s life. Since he was born when the seasons were changing; from the everglow of cherry blossoms to the crisp summer skies; Ha Joon brought with him the same warmth. His presence filled up the void two of his lovers had left in his heart; of course metaphorically. 

No matter how happy and loved he felt with his one-year-old son; deep inside his insecurities and shortcomings ate him up. He was constantly scared; he was terrified to the core. Would his child abandon him the same way his lovers did? Again? Will it be when it’s Autumn?

Until, then, he hoped that he would cherish his son, give him everything he would need, and most importantly try and understand him. He would not make the same mistake of assuming that both sides of the coin are the same. Communication is the key to having a healthy relationship; was something he promised he would uphold. 

….

It was sometime in the summer, around Ha Joon’s birthday was when he reunited with his ex-lover, Park Chanyeol. And no matter how hard Baekhyun had tried, the piece of his heart that the younger had taken away with him; hurt more than how it felt when Ji Na left. 

The leaves dry up, almost as if the souls are leaving nature; it’s all withering away. Just as nature withers away; hearts do too. And this has always been for Baekhyun. He was always scared of autumn and it constantly kept him in fear of the fact that the people he always held dear to him, left him in autumn. Autumn, always signified separation to him.

_Chanyeol left him in the midst of autumn._

_Ji Na too left him in Autumn._

It was quite suffocating. And seeing Chanyeol yet again and right when he was at the lowest in life, made him feel even worse. He was yet again being made to face both sides of the coin; he never wanted to. On one hand, his child was clinging onto him and crying his eyes out; and on the other hand, his soulmate. 

_Love, Sarangh, Shaghaf, Anpu_

_Loving someone, or the feeling of being loved, or calling someone your love; is an intense, invigorating experience in two individual’s life. The true definition differs from person to person, but for Baekhyun his understanding changed with the seasons. But the one that he truly believed in was the love he felt in the time of autumn. With the change in nature, withering away of nature, earthquakes start; two people put each other through trials. It’s no longer cute that he leaves his banana peel on the counter instead of throwing it away. Lovers nag, scrutinize and judge each other. The rumbling of the volcano begins. Something that strengthened Baekhyun’s foundation._

Park Chanyeol was the perfect example of his fondness for autumn; their love which bloomed in their high school; had slowly withered away by the time they were 20. To the point that he left that same year, in August, leaving Baekhyun amidst the yellow, red leaves rustling in the wind. 

Baekhyun, had vowed himself to not let him enter once again; then what cruel game was fate playing on him? 

…

“B..Baek, how have you been? And May I help you with this child?” 

“No, thank you, Mister! I can very well handle my child well.” 

_‘My child’?_

How much have things changed in just seven years? Baekhyun has a child? Married? Chanyeol chuckled at himself, for being so foolish. He left Baekhyun for his selfishness, and his fate played the same cruel trick by taking away his fiancé. 

_Fiancé..._

Yes, after years of wallowing in self- pity and guilt; Chanyeol had met Kyungsoo. He couldn’t give away his heart since a part of it always belonged to Baekhyun, nevertheless, he loved his fiancé with all his heart. He gave him whatever was left with him. 

Kyungsoo had passed away after his brief battle with Cancer, and Chanyeol had lost all hope. He too lost someone ‘special’ yet again, when the skies were turning lilac and orange, with the onset of autumn. He too disliked the season, which brought him nothing but heartbreaks. Losing Kyungsoo had deeply affected Chanyeol; he had practically lost all hope, and it was just Kyungsoo’s last wish that had kept him alive. He struggled to work his way through as a sound producer and post the mishap, he came back to Korea. 

Realising that Baek did not address him by his name the second time, struck him that Baekhyun had chosen to forget the younger. It stung. 

So Baekhyun was no longer Chanyeol’s favourite memory. 

So, the hearts did break that fateful day mid-autumn. 

…

Baekhyun did recognise him. 

He recognises the person who was his first; his first love, first kiss, the first person he had sex with; Chanyeol practically embodied everything that Baekhyun was in the present. 

It was Chanyeol who had made him realise his capability, his worth and the fact that he could fight against all odds in the society and be what he wanted to be. When the world in the 21st Century was running impeccably fast, where it was all a rat race, Chanyeol taught him to be different. It was he who made Baekhyun realise that walking a little slow at the moment, soaking in the warmth of every season, living every moment was not wrong. 

Chanyeol was always different, he always stood apart from the crowd, and while all his batchmates from school were now doctors, or engineers or just trotted along with the crowd; he was a successful music producer. Everyone loved him, everyone adored him. 

Chanyeol was everyone’s apple of their eyes. 

Chanyeol was Baekhyun’s love. 

Baekhyun had always loved Chanyeol. 

Baekhyun adored Chanyeol. 

He wanted him. 

Until. 

That Autumn afternoon. 

…

Seeing Baekhyun turn away from him; as if he was a stranger, broke Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol had always been very clear to Baekhyun, about everything. The younger still remembers everything that he had said to Baekhyun, that day; 

_“Baekhyun, I love you. No, I’ve always loved you and will continue to do so. As much as our love is important to both of us; our respective individual lives and careers are too. I want you to be independent and become you are really meant to be, and I want the same for myself. I certainly do not want to leave you, but right now, we need to choose our paths of what we want to be. You’re going to your dream university, Love. And I got through mine._

_I want us to be together, even if distance tries to pull us apart._

_You are my sunshine, my fireball, everything that I would seek for in my soulmate._

_Let us be together, but just for a few years, we have to be apart. I promise to be there for you; I’ll come to you whenever you yearn for me._

_Don’t cry, or feel bad about it._

_I’m here._

_I’ll always be here._

_Always._ _Forever.”_

Baekhyun, at that moment, had accepted this decision. He agreed, openly welcomed Chanyeol and his decision. He still remembers, as to how excited Baek was for him; and he even went with him to see him off at the airport. 

He could still feel their last kiss, their warmth and their goodbye; linger in his memory. 

Then where did they go wrong? 

_(Baekhyun, had completely cut himself off from Chanyeol a week after he had left. There was no way he could contact him again, Baekhyun’s parents refused to give him any news of his lover and the same was with his friends. Chanyeol never got his answers, and still longed for them from Baekhyun.  
Until Kyungsoo happened. And He had moved on) _

Moved on…

That's a wrong idea. 

_Chanyeol never did._

…

_Baekhyun never did too._

Then why their meeting, feel so distant? 

Why was Baekhyun so cold to him?

That stone cold gaze was something that Chanyeol's eye couldn't miss. 

“Baekhyun-ah, why do you feel so distant? Where did we go wrong?” a single silent tear escaped from Chanyeol’s eyes. 

Baekhyun, simply walked away, as if nothing had happened, still cooing at his crying baby. 

…

_Jongdae and Minseok, simply looked at the scene unfolding in front of them._

_Dumbfounded._

_“Chanyeol, is back?”_

_“Then why does he look so miserable?’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for adding Kyungsoo's death. unintentional.
> 
> P.S. i miss Kyungsoo already.  
> BUT Yixing came for him. That was so sweet of him.


	3. Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crossroads

Chanyeol chuckles at the memory of stubborn Baekhyun; how he would always have his way no matter what. Seeing Baekhyun that day at the café with his son, being stubborn and refusing his help; made Chanyeol yearn more and more for him.

That day, Jongdae and Minseok had spilt the tea to Chanyeol; where they told him how Baekhyun’s parents never approved of Baekhyun’s sexuality. They somewhere believed that it was Chanyeol’s fault and they found the perfect opportunity to make him listen to the when you left. They continued telling him as to how they forced Baekhyun into slowly believing that you had abandoned him and that Ji Na was the only person who would matter. They even threatened us from telling you anything about Baekhyun. Whatever little power Baekhyun’s parents had in the society was enough to scare the two friends and it was in exchange for Baekhyun’s friendship did they keep quiet all these years.

“Chanyeol, we thought you were coming back after your college, but you never showed up. What happened?” Jongdae really seemed curious and at the same time worried.

Chanyeol took a deep breath.

It was time.

“I did come from time to time for Baekhyun; I looked everywhere for him. His parents refused to tell me where he was; and after you guys even refused back then, I had seemingly lost all hope. I guess it was sometime during my second year at college; I stopped altogether. I could no longer get hold of Baekhyun at any point. I was really really close to losing my sanity. Until I met Kyungsoo while in my third year. He was the only one who kept me sane enough when I had lost all hope in ever being with Baekhyun again. And it was in the process of dealing with the loss, did I feel that I was falling in love with Soo. I believed so; while I was well aware that he was in love with me. It is just the pain of separation from Baek, did I take the step of giving my heart to Soo. We were together for four years until one day he fell dangerously ill, and the doctors told us that he was suffering from third stage brain cancer. It somewhere broke both of us, but I felt the worst. It hurt a lot considering the fact that I had lost Baek and now I would lose Soo too. While I worked my way up as a producer there in New York; I even took care of Soo, no matter how much he hated it.”

“Chanyeol? Where is he now?”

“He passed away last year in October. Every autumn my heart broke, and with his death, I was completely lost.” Chanyeol looked tired and hurt; rotating the wedding band.

“So you guys got married?”

“Yes, Minseok. I know it might sound ridiculous, but getting married was his last wish. So, a month before he died, we got married. Even though he was growing weak, yet he never asked anything from me in return. Asked me to go back to Korea and look for Baekhyun. He also wished that Baekhyun and I would resolve our differences and be better off.”

…

Chanyeol had come back exactly a month after his husband’s death. Even though he never really loved him the way he felt for Baekhyun, loving Kyungsoo was surely different. He was fond of him, and through his troubled times, he was his anchor. Removing the wedding ring was not that easy, a lot of tears went behind it. But he failed.

He couldn’t remove it.

He missed Kyungsoo.

He missed his warmth.

Even the truth of Baekhyun’s life had hurt him. He felt bad for the older for having been gone through so much in a short time. But the fact that Baek’s parents disliked him and forced him in altering his memory; hurt Chanyeol thousand times worse.

…

 _Looking at the moon from this hill_ _  
You and me…_

_It had been almost two months until he met Baekhyun again. This time it was at the older’s book launch at the store in Gangnam. Chanyeol just happened to be passing by when he saw the bulletins and decided to be there. He hoped that at least today Baekhyun would give him the chance for at least a closure._

_Through the event, their eyes did meet fleetingly. Baekhyun couldn’t believe that not only was he living up to his dream of being a successful writer; but Chanyeol was also there. Baekhyun remembered how during one of their post-coital moments; did he tell Chanyeol that we would want at least one of his book at Mrs Kwon’s bookstore, Well, being given as to how popular her bookstore has been in the past three decades; getting a chance to launch your book their; had always been Baekhyun’s dream._

_He was living it today._

_He was living it with Chanyeol._

_The only person who mattered the most to him._

_The launch ended with Baekhyun; being congratulated by everyone for writing something so artistic, and most importantly something so realistic. After everyone had left; Baekhyun looked around for Chanyeol, feeling dejected for not meeting him once before he left._

_When suddenly…_

_“Baek? You were wonderful!”_

_“Excuse me? Oh, thank you. But do I know you?”_

‘Do I know you?” Chanyeol was seemingly hurt by the choice of words, nevertheless, he did not really expect anything new from the person who left without any explanation.

“Uh! Baekhyun-ssi, no we don’t know each other. Sorry for the informal tone, but I just wanted you to know that you were wonderful tonight, and I have loved all the books that you have published so far and I am sure that this book will do equally well. I’m sorry once again, I’ll take your leave. Goodnight and Congratulations. You’re living your dream.” Chanyeol bowed and quietly left.

It wasn’t difficult to notice the hurt in Chanyeol’s eyes, and the guilt of his rash behaviour immediately made Baekhyun feel terrible. On the most special day of his life; and also the fact that his first love was also present; he realized that he shouldn’t have done that.

Baekhyun had always been the level-headed person between the two; and what he did this time, was unforgivable.

Chanyeol’s retreating figure broke Baekhyun’s heart even further, and even before he could shout for the younger; he felt his feet already taking him towards him. Baekhyun ran to him, and even with his shorter limbs as compared to Chanyeol, but he was late.

He could only catch up to Chanyeol’s car’s shadow.

He left once again.

Baekhyun’s heart broke one again.

…

Chanyeol always knew that Baekhyun’s parents never agreed to the fact that their only son was gay, and they had probably played a role in Baekhyun abandoning their relationship. He understood quite a few underlining issues in their relationship, but he was too scared to say it out loud. Perhaps not voicing it out to Baekhyun, was the first mistake he made. If Baekhyun knew about his fears; then probably the older would have helped him fight his inner demons. But, it was too late.

It had been a week since their paths crossed each other yet again, and on both occasions did Baekhyun refused to recognize Chanyeol. Chanyeol was seemingly hurt; he was still seeking answers for Baekhyun’s sudden abandonment.

Baekhyun was restless as well; he once again began longing for Chanyeol. Even he too wanted to answers, but he did not know where to start. But he had promised himself to make Ha Joon his life, and nothing could change this fact anymore.

Baekhyun entered his house; the very house that he had shared with both his lovers; and now every time he was welcomed by loneliness. Chuckling to himself; he too greeted darkness in the same way. Baekhyun hadn’t seen Ha Joon for almost two days now; his parents had taken Ha Joon with him; since he had been busy with his book launch. Jolting out of his senses; he realized how much he missed his little munchkin; he dashed out of his apartment, and drove to his parents’ house as quickly as possible.

Seeing his year-old son, peacefully sleeping with his grandmother; melted all the pain, and sadness that he had been carrying in his heart all these days. Silently slipping into the covers; he wrapped an arm around his son and fell into a deep slumber.

…

It has been almost a month now. And Baekhyun has been seemingly been busy with Ha Joon and his next novel. Baekhyun was in the hospital with Ha Joon, where something familiar sitting beside him; caught his eyes.

_Park Chanyeol._

_Chanyeol’s wedding ring._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry its been a while. I've been really unwell. 
> 
> BAEKHYUN'S DEBUT ALBUM IS BEAUTIFUL.


	4. Hide and Seek

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all coming back.

_I'm not afraid of dying  
But I am afraid of losing you _

Lately, Ha Joon has been sickly, flu catches up to him easily; and Baekhyun has been making frequent trips to the hospital. It has been tiring for both the son and the young father.

Even though Jongdae and Minseok help him out often by making sure that at least either accompany the duo during their visits. But, today was different. Not wanting to break the couple’s only day off, Baekhyun took Ha Joon all by himself to the hospital.

Seeing Chanyeol, and even before he could apologise to the younger for whatever happened that day at the bookstore.

_“Ha Joon, doctor Zhang is now available to see you.”_

Making his way to the doctor’s room, he could feel Chanyeol’s inquisitive, chestnut eyes boring holes in his back.

“Hello, Dr Zhang, it seems Ha Joon-ah’s being missing you a lot.”

“Hello to you too, now let us see as to what is up with this young man!”

In-evidently the stress of his son’s constant illness and the pressure to complete his novel on time had been stressing Baekhyun as well. The glow on his face was slowly wearing out and dark circle were also presumably getting more evident.

“Baekhyun, there’s no need to worry. I’ve administered some of his medicines and he’ll be fine. Make sure the baby formula is being given to him regularly; as he had missed out on a good part of his mother’s milk. Just bear it for a while Baekhyun-ah, he’ll be fine.” Yixing smiled at him and went forward to take baby Ha Joon-ah in his arms. Yixing and Baekhyun had been friends since high school, and somehow their friendship lasted through all the tidal waves that kept disrupting the serenity.

Yixing could always understand the disappointment Baekhyun constantly felt with not being able to take care of his son in the best possible manner. In spite of his assurance, there was nothing that could make him feel better. He knew that his best friend was losing hope; and the only thing that could probably save him from the wallowing pit was either Chanyeol or another ray of hope, in some way.

After almost spending an hour with Yixing; following which the doctor requested Baekhyun to leave Ha Joon with him for a night so that he could administer him.

He had just stepped out of the hospital when a warm pair of hands stopped him.

“Baekhyun, how long?”

Turning back, it was Chanyeol. All his guilt had resurfaced, the fact that it was his fault that Chanyeol was no longer by his side, and looked even more morose than him, broke him.

Baekhyun could no longer hide his real emotions.

“Chanyeol. Let me go.”

Chanyeol’s chestnut eyes were seemingly filling up with tears, and his hand kept tightening around the older’s, thin, weak wrist. Baekhyun could see the younger’s pleading eyes, pleading him to not let him go. But Baekhyun pushed him once again.

A stray tear left Baekhyun’s eye.

“Chanyeol, please. Go, your husband must be waiting for you. I need to go too, go back to him.”

Another tug.

To his heart.

 _“Baekhyun-ah”_ that soothing voice called out to him once more.

“Baekhyun-ah, please. He’s dead, he left. And why are you pretending to no know me? You left me all alone, where did I go wrong? Please? Talk to me.”

Baekhyun couldn’t believe his ears; his husband was dead? Kyungsoo was dead?

“Chanyeol, what are you saying? Kyungsoo can’t die, he promised to come back home, come back to all of us.”

“Baek, what do you mean? You knew him? You knew Soo?” Baekhyun could see Chanyeol’s lower lips trembling, he was trying hard to control his tears. Baekhyun couldn’t understand what the younger meant, the confusion somewhere sort of made things worse for him. Letting go of the younger’s hand, without any word, he ran to his car and drove away.

This time, leaving Chanyeol all alone.

“Baekhyun-ah, what are you doing? How long will this game of hide and seek continue between us? I’m tired, Love.” Chanyeol once again lost him, and this time he decided to completely let go of all the emotions, and all the hope he has held back for all these years.

And a moment later, did the younger see Yixing walking up to him,

_“Chanyeol? Is it you? You’re back?”_

_“Hyung?”_

_“Yeol, is everything okay? Why did Baek run away like that? And where is Kyungsoo? I haven’t heard from him for so long.”_

_“Hyung, he.. Soo, passed away”_

…

_In the meantime, Baekhyun, guilt was ripping him apart. All these years that he had fabricated in his mind and all the tricks he had played with himself was slowly resurfacing. The fact that his parents, hated him for being gay, to their troubled marriage, and him pretending all these years that it was fine. He had tricked his mind into believing that his parents loved each other, and whatever they said was true, to the fact that being gay is not acceptable. Which is why he chose Ji Na over Chanyeol._

_Everything was crushing._

_Baekhyun at that moment wanted to kill himself._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The fact that Baekhyun could possibly alter his memories in such a manner, is something that I have seen someone very close to me do. Today, she is no longer alive; but this is something I had seen her do. I sort of used the same idea but in a much milder way.  
> Don't worry Baek will be fine.  
> Things will start getting better now. 
> 
> It is a short chapter, a really short one. I just wanted to use this as a buffer chapter. 
> 
> BTW.  
> EXplOration, literally killed me. Jongin is ETHEREAL.


	5. It was Better Left Unsaid

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Closure?  
> or  
> Is it the end?

_The cup of coffee had now been pushed to the corner of the table._

Minseok could sense the growing uneasiness in Baekhyun’s voice; as he was speaking about his recent encounters with Chanyeol, Kyungsoo being dead and his child falling sick. He could see as to how much Baekhyun would’ve liked for someone to be with him at the moment, someone who could help him survive through the great tide.

But if only, Baekhyun stopped shutting everyone out.

“Minseok, what do I do? I can’t go back running to his arms. It’ll be similar to tarnishing Kyungsoo’s memories. And I have Ha Joon-ah to take care of, I can’t run behind my own life trying to fix it. I…I don’t know what to do. Hyung?” Baekhyun’s eyes were stinging with tears once again, even though he spent almost three days since their meet crying his heart out, as he tried to come in terms with both Chanyeol’s marriage and Soo’s death.

_Yixing on the next day had spoken to Baekhyun, regarding his child and Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo had been suffering from a brain tumour for a long time, and with his days being numbered he wanted to spend his last days fulfilling his dreams. Although he had kept his sickness a secret from everyone, meeting Chanyeol and the marriage was all just a matter of fate; where either had no control of. Kyungsoo was Yixing’s friend while he was a transfer student in Japan, and Baekhyun and Kyungsoo were acquaintances. They had never met._

_But Chanyeol’s marriage came to him as a bigger shock, when it had happened, something that he had overheard back then. But due to his marriage with Ji Na, he did his best to ignore it, but could never erase it from his memories. Chanyeol's marriage left a deep impact in his heart, even Ji Na's company could never fix that. Chanyeol had moved on, and he had to do that same._

_Yet..._

“Baek, listen to me. It’s time you let go of whatever has happened in your past. You’re not a failure, and you are certainly neither failing to take care of Ha Joon nor will you be betraying Kyungsoo’s memories. Speaking to him will cause no harm, maybe it will clear out the misunderstanding between you two; and most importantly, you will be able to fix whatever you left behind. Baek, Chanyeol still loves you the same, or perhaps even more; give him a chance?”

“He still loves me? Ridiculous. Seok, he was married to Kyungsoo, not me. I lost my way to him, and nothing can bring us back on the same path. And if he ever hears as to where I went wrong, he’ll despise me for the rest of his lie.” Baekhyun was seemingly tensing up.

Even before Minseok could say anything more, an oddly familiar voice surrounded the café, that was presumably placing his orders. The voice that Baekhyun had always loved, had always felt safe in.

_Park Chanyeol._

“Hey, Chanyeol. Why don’t you join Baekhyun and me?”

“Hey! Hyung, uh... maybe next time. I don’t want Baekhyun to feel uncomfortable. You two please carry on.” Baekhyun mentally chuckled at the younger’s animated way of speaking, and this was something that he always felt was unique to Chanyeol. He seemed to look at the younger in a much different light.

“No. Chanyeol, it’s okay. I have nowhere to run anymore. It’s time I face the music.” Baekhyun held Chanyeol by his sleeve, looking at him with those similar puppy eyes that Chanyeol had missed. Chanyeol sat down, with the air growing thick with awkwardness; but this time it was Minseok who decided to speak up.

“Baekhyun, Chanyeol. It has been almost six years since you two abruptly left the path that you were walking on together. It’s time to fix it; it’s not too late. You owe each other at least this much. I’ll speak to Jongdae for a while. Okay?” Minseok winked at the confused pair and walked off, leaving them feeling even more awkward.

…

“Uh... So, Baekhyun. Well… I..”

Baekhyun raises his hand, leaving a frozen Chanyeol with the words hanging on the tip of the tongue.

“Chanyeol, more than you I owe you an explanation. Let me do this, please? I’ve hidden behind a mask for too long, and my resolution is finally crumbling down. I can’t keep along with my game anymore.” Baekhyun was so nervous and scared of the truth and most importantly telling the same to Chanyeol; that he began visibly shaking.

Chanyeol knew most of it, but he wanted Baekhyun to let it out. More than Chanyeol, perhaps it is Baekhyun who needs the closure.

So, Baekhyun does tell him everything, taking moments to cry and relieve the blues. Baekhyun in the midst of saying it loud to Chanyeol despises himself for his childlike behaviour and for not only breaking his but his ex-wife’s heart as well. Even though Chanyeol had somewhere never blamed him for how their lives turned out to be, but hearing it all again and listening to what Baekhyun had to say; it hurt.

Clearing his throat, “So, Baek you decided to let it go without a fight? Choose everything over us? Ruin your Ji Na’s life and most importantly you even had the guts to carry on with the lies and have a baby with her? Do you realise that with your stupidity you did not ruin two but three lives?” Bitterly chuckling to himself, he was almost getting up from his seat, when Baekhyun clutched onto his sleeve asking him to sit. 

"Baekhyun-ah? There's more to say?" 

“Chanyeol, please. I know it is all my fault. Yet, hear me out. I can’t lose you again.” Baekhyun could no longer control his tears.

“Baekhyun-ah, you decided to run away even without fighting. You chose to cut all ties with me, you pushed me away. Your parents despise me and threatened me to not come near you ever again. I was losing my sanity each day. I came back home each holiday to look for you. I kept calling everyone I knew, but everyone refused to give me any information. Was my love that meaningless. Did all those years we’ve spent with each other not make you feel anything. You never bothered to even tell me as to what you were going through. You knew I would leave everything on the drop of a hat to be by your side. Why? Baek why?” Chanyeol was hurt. He balled his fists and his voice was rising every second causing all customers to turn their heads toward them.

“Chanyeol, they threatened to ruin my life. They would’ve done something worse to you and I couldn’t let that happen. I’m sorry, but please understand.”

“Abandoning me was your best idea?”

“I..I.. did..”

“Never mind, you’ll come up with another excuse. You might have had to save us, something that we could have done together. We could have saved ourselves from the endless torture but you chose to portray yourself the bigger person here. So, continue doing that. Take care.”

With that Chanyeol got up from the table and left.

Once again was Baekhyun left alone. The last hope that was dangling by a thread to fix things with Chanyeol was cut off. Baekhyun’s eyes were fogging up and he almost wanted to die at this moment.

“Baekhyun, is everything okay?” Minseok hurriedly came back to his friend upon seeing Chanyeol leave abruptly.

“Minseok, I’ll leave. Sorry about everything and thank you for believing in me. I can’t do this anymore, and I can no longer ignore the reality that has been right in front of my eyes. I’ll send you the contract termination tomorrow, you’re free to live your life as Kim Minseok and not as my editor anymore.” Baekhyun did not even spare a second glance to his friend who was extremely confused and felt hurt with the words that were being hurled at by his childhood best friend. He ran out of the café.

…

Baekhyun rushed back home before his resolve crumbled in front of his friends. He was thankful to himself for not letting go of the apartment he lived in while in college. Promising himself to give a better life to his son, sans all the guilt, pity and the hatred from everyone; he found himself booking tickets to Japan for the next day itself.

Baekhyun was extremely guilty for the mistakes that he has had committed till now, vowing to not repeat them. That night he cradled his son, held him close to his heart and gave his heart a rest.

_From the evening itself, Baekhyun had been unavailable over the phone. His best friends gave him his space while making sure to check up on him, first in the morning. Little did they know that even after all these years, they had failed to quite understand their friend. The next day upon reaching his apartment, they were informed by their neighbour, Mrs Suyoung that Baekhyun had left early in the morning with his son and a few luggage._

_Fearing a yet another disappearance by their friend, they rushed to his parents’ home. But they were disappointed. Even his parents had no idea about his sudden departure. His parents were never happy with how their son had managed on with his life, and with this step, they had given up._

_“Yixing, do you know where Baekhyun might be? His phone is unreachable and he is not in his apartment and his parents have no idea whatsoever. They have refused to even look out for him or Ha Joon.”_

_Yixing had received a message from Baekhyun before he boarded his flight. Where he apologized for meeting him, requested him to make sure everything was okay. He did not mention where was going but asked him to take care of himself. And most importantly of Chanyeol._

_…_

_Chanyeol did not know._

_What Chanyeol did not know would not hurt._

_…_

_But boy, was he wrong._

_Chanyeol was the most affected. He was on the verge of losing his sanity._

_Fate was coming back to him in full circle._


	6. Distance Makes Hearts Grow Fonder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will they meet again?  
> Even if they do, how will either react to it?

_1 year later_

“Ha Joon-ah come on, you need to eat this.” Baekhyun sighs as he struggles to make the small child eat. Ha Joon, is now almost 2years old and is a much healthier and a happier kid, but Baekhyun can’t stop worrying about him. Bouts of self-doubt still makes him question himself as to how good is he doing with raising the child all by himself, he can’t stop thinking as to how different his life would have been if he had stayed back and accepted Jongdae and Minseok’s help or continued to pursue Chanyeol.

The small child giggles his way, as his appa struggles to keep up with his endless energy. Not that Baekhyun is complaining about it. He loves his child dearly and his new life in Japan. But he can’t stop worrying about his friends and family back in Korea.

_There’s a tug of war in his heart every day. He wants to go back to Korea, to his people he abandoned._

Chanyeol, on the other hand, has been working with SM Entertainment as a music producer. His songs have been doing well in the charts and everyone in the entertainment industry wants to work with him. He’s made his name.

But,

He still spends his days mourning for Kyungsoo and in repentance as well for what he said and did to Baekhyun. After Baekhyun left, he remembers his parent telling him that forgiving the older was what he should’ve done. They were slightly disappointed in Chanyeol for not trying to understand his lover, and whatever had happened with Kyungsoo, should not have affected their relationship.

Well, his parents adored Kyungsoo; but at the same time, they loved Baekhyun. They knew the older ever since they became his neighbours almost 20 years back. They treated him as their son; and cherished his relationship with their son. They regret not holding onto Baekhyun, they regret not seeing their children together anymore. They knew that as much as their son was hurting, their other child was hurting equally.

“Chanyeol, you should somehow find Baekhyun and tell him that you forgive him. It’s the forgiveness that would heal both of your wounds.” Mrs Park sat with a cup of tea by her son’s side.

“Mom, you know that it’s impossible. I have no idea where Baekhyun is and no matter what I say, he will no longer believe me. He never did in the first place.” Such harsh words, hurt Chanyeol a lot.

“Yeol, you know where he is, you’re just not paying much attention. And with time all wounds heal. You know that he still loves you no matter what; which is why in the first place he told you the truth.”

“Ma, he was too late. And his truth hurt me even more. I wasn’t important”

“Son, it isn’t easy to speak the truth. It must have taken him a lot of courage to say it to you.”

…

25.08.2015

Chanyeol was on a flight to Japan, to visit Kyungsoo’s parents. He was dreading this moment, but it was only due to their incessant pleadings, did he take a short holiday to visit them. Even though this trip was for his late husband and his grieving parents; but Baekhyun’s thoughts never left him alone. It had almost been more than a year since the older left without any words, but Chanyeol could not stop repenting his actions.

_The memories that fill both hands_   
_Our precious story_   
_A sincere heart_   
_If you can still remember them after time passes_   
_Will you be able to say_   
_That you were happy too?_

Chanyeol, with tears in his eyes, he still held onto one his favourite picture with Baekhyun; that they had clicked on their second anniversary.

“Baekhyun-ah, where are you?”

…

Chanyeol loved Japan, it’s been his favourite since his childhood days. Nothing beat the scenic beauty and the warmth that Japan gave him. But, it o longer felt the same. Nothing felt the same to him anymore. All he longed was for, his lover’s warmth.

It had been more than a week since he had arrived in Japan, but had no intention to leave. His management was kind enough to let him transfer his work there; with their Japan branch and other artists. He eventually moved out from Kyungsoo’s parent’s house and moved to an apartment.

It was one of those same mornings, but starting afresh in his new apartment. But, the world doesn’t seem to let him breathe in peace even for a while. Just as the lift doors opened, so did Chanyeol’s worst fears…

_Baekhyun._

_His Baekhyun._

_His love, Byun Baekhyun._

_“Hey! Baekhyun-ah,” Chanyeol managed to enter the lift before Baekhyun could shut the doors._

_It was odd, Baekhyun did not respond to him. His eyes were completely blank; it was almost as if he did not recognize Chanyeol._

_“Baek, what’s wrong? Speak to me, it’s Chanyeol.”_

“I’m sorry Sir. But I don’t know who you are, you seem to have caught a wrong person.” With that Baekhyun exits the lift and leaves.

Chanyeol was dumbfounded. Baekhyun refused to acknowledge him, it hurt him to see the older going back to the same state of pushing everyone out of his life. Or was he just doing that to him?

The entire day while Chanyeol could not focus on his work; Baekhyun, on the other hand, was in a much more miserable state. Seeing his lover again after a year, in the same apartment, right when he was trying his best to stand back on his feet, scared him. Baekhyun wanted to be a stronger person before he faced Chanyeol again, but certainly not in this state.

“Jongdae? Is that you?”

“Baekhyun-ah? Yes, it's me. How have you been? It’s been a while…”

“Dae, Chanyeol is here. I met him.”

“Oh! Baekhyun-ah. Please tell me that you chose the option of ignoring his existence completely?”

“Yes! And now I feel terrible”

…

It was a long day for Baekhyun. He was quite exhausted by the time he reached his apartment with the groceries in one hand and a sleeping Ha Joon-ah on the other. Yes, he was struggling but he couldn’t care less. It was Ha Joon or nothing.

He looked around before entering his apartment, if he could see the taller anywhere around, but not spotting anyone, he sighed to himself and went inside.

But, little did he know that his lover was already there at the farthest corner, keeping an eye on the older.

…

The same routine of meeting each other every day, with Baekhyun refusing to acknowledge Chanyeol, and the younger trying to woo him back. Continued for almost a month.

Until Ha Joon had again caught up the seasonal flu and had to be taken to the hospital. But at the same time, the young father had to be present at the University, since it was the mid term exams.

Handling a wailing, sickly Ha Joon was terrifying, as the child would not stop crying. 

Till he met his angel in the lift.

“Baekhyun, can I help you?”

“Yes.”

His resolve crumbled.

He could no longer push him away.

He had reached his limit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, for the late update. I'm dying with my shifting process.  
> I'm moving to a new country altogether. I promise to finish this asap. 
> 
> Sorry.


	7. Hold Me Close, Don't Let me Fall

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can it be mended?

Baekhyun never liked being seen at his lowest, and exactly that’s what’s happening right now. It isn’t easy being a single parent while working, with absolutely no one to rely on. He had made absolutely no efforts to be friends with anyone in Japan, fearing that he’ll get too close, and eventually they’ll abandon him again. 

But seeing Chanyeol in front of him, at his most vulnerable state did not scare him at all. He wanted to run back into his arms and drown in his warmth. But he held himself back. 

“Uh... I don’t but I also need some help.” 

Chanyeol, chuckled at the older’s stubbornness, he could understand the hesitation, “It’s okay, I’m willing to help. Tell me, how can I help you, sir?” 

“Uh! Chanyeol, It’s me Baekhyun. Sir?” Baekhyun was confused with the sudden formality. 

“Jeez! I know it’s you. I was just apprehensive about how you would behave if I went back on a first name basis. Uh..” Chanyeol’s hesitation was visible. 

Holding his child, who was still crying and shaking with the flu, gathering courage, he did the most unexpected thing. 

_ “Chanyeol, help me please?”  _

Those three words came as a surprise to Chanyeol. In all these years of knowing the older and even when they were lovers, Baekhyun never asked for help. Realizing how much he was struggling, really broke Chanyeol. It reminded him of a child, alone and scared. Without a second thought did he find himself agreeing to his needs.  Chanyeol was concerned. A million thoughts were rushing through his head. 

“Baek, what is it? Tell me? What do you need?” He gently touched the older’s shoulder, fearing that Baekhyun might snap out of it and push him.  
But to his surprise, instead of flinching and pushing him away, Baekhyun immediately started sobbing along with his child. 

Chanyeol realized what Baekhyun was asking for, he immediately took a step forward and took Ha Joon in his arms. While both of them expected Ha Joon to wail even louder, he surprisingly calmed down. 

Chanyeol chuckled, “It seems he likes me, but why has he been crying in the first place?” 

“Chanyeol, Ha Joon-ah is sick. He caught the flu, while I need to take him to the hospital, I also have to be at the University.” 

Chanyeol stepped forward and kissed Baekhyun on his forehead, “Baek, go to the University. I’ll take him to the hospital, get him treated. You can come to the hospital once you finish off your work.” 

“But, I’ll be a disgrace. What kind of a father am I? I’m choosing to work over my own son. I’m miserable to the point that I can’t even take care of him.” Baekhyun could feel the passerby’s staring at the three. He could feel each one’s judgmental looks for being a father and crying in the middle of the street with his child. 

“Baek, no. You’re not a miserable father. Absolutely not. You’re working so hard to provide for your son and there is nothing wrong in asking for help. I’ll gladly take care of Ha Joon when he seemingly likes me more. Come on, I’ll drop you off to your workplace, and I’ll take him.” He yet again leaves another lingering kiss on the older’s forehead to make him stop crying. Chanyeol never liked seeing tears in Baekhyun’s eyes, and seeing this unfold in front of his eyes, hurt him even more. 

The car ride that followed, was seemingly awkward. While Baekhyun held onto Ha Joon, Chanyeol drove to the university as fast as he could. Baekhyun apologized for the trouble but Chanyeol simply held his hand and gave him a smile. The same smile, that Baekhyun had been missing and had been yearning for so long. 

Baekhyun left his number with Chanyeol so that he could let him know about his son. 

_ Nothing more. Nothing less.  _

_ Baekhyun reminded himself, that Chanyeol would never come back to him again. With that, he shut the car’s door behind him and shut out the thoughts that had him plaguing his mind.  _

…

Fortunately, since the flu wasn’t too serious, Chanyeol brought Ha Joon back with him to his apartment. He left a message to Baekhyun. 

He was tending to the sickly child, trying to feed him the medicines. Yet again, to his surprise, the child did not resist the medicine, in fact, he clutched onto Chanyeol’s hand. Not letting him go. 

‘Ah, Ha Joon-ah is exactly like his father.” Chuckled Chanyeol, looing at the sleeping child’s droopy eyes and button nose. 

When suddenly the bell rung, Baekhyun must be back. He opened the door to see a drunk and exhausted Baekhyun at his doorstep. 

“Baek, what have you done? Why didn’t you call me? I could’ve come and picked you up.” 

“Chanyeol. Please. Can I see my child? I’ll take him home. I’m sorry for all the trouble and burdening you so much. I’m sorry for everything. I’ll leave with him, I’ll disappear.” Hiccupping through the sentences, Baekhyun looked around for his son. 

Chanyeol, felt really bad looking at the older. He held his hand and made him sit on the couch, and got him a glass of water. “Baek, he’s sleeping the guest room. Don’t worry, he’s fine.” 

“Yeol... He hates medicines. How can he be okay?”

“Baek, he took them without any complaints, and his fever broke a while back. So, don’t worry.” Chanyeol gave his shoulder a light squeeze. But somehow, Baekhyun doesn’t stop crying, he cried harder. 

“Chanyeol… I’m sorry. I’m sorry for running away, ruining what we had. Being selfish of marrying another person, destroying her life. And having the audacity to even ask you to forgive me. Chanyeol, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for today, yesterday, for every…” Chanyeol pressed a kiss on the elder’s lips even before he could say anything more. 

Baekhyun did not resist, getting to feel those very pair of lips on his after all these years, he wanted more. He wanted more of Chanyeol at every second. They seemingly deepened their kiss, he let his Chanyeol fight for dominance. Their tongues mingled, their breaths became one, they held onto each other as close as possible, not wanting to let go. 

Chanyeol let go after a while, chuckling to see Baekhyun still crying softly. Baekhyun could see the adoration in the younger’s eyes, not saying another word he hugged him tight and buried his head in the other’s neck. Inhaling Chanyeol’s smell, Baekhyun eventually calmed down. 

Chanyeol held onto him, held him as close as possible. Kissing him gently on his forehead, and tucking Baekhyun’s head under his chin, Chanyeol wished for the time to stop forever. 

__

_ “Chanyeol?” _

_ “hmm?”  _

_ “I’ve missed you, more than you can imagine.”  _

_ “I know. I’ve missed you too. I’ll keep you safe forever. I won’t let you go.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if I am going wrong somewhere.  
> I don't feel too confident with my plot.


	8. I Wrote a Song for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's a problem that can be fixed.

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_It's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be this hard_  
_Oh take me back to the start._

He remembered falling asleep on the couch with Chanyeol, perhaps Chanyeol had moved him to the bed sometime later. Somewhere a warmth spread in his body, and he unknowingly smiled.

“I see, someone’s awake and is smiling on top of it. Welcome back to Baekhyun, it’s been a while.” Said Chanyeol as he entered the room with breakfast for Baekhyun.

Seeing Chanyeol again, with a breakfast tray and feeling his warmth it hit Baekhyun hard. The very domestic feeling that he had lost out on with him and Ji Na, was coming back again. It scared Baekhyun somewhere deep inside.

Carefully placing the tray in front of him, Chanyeol gently kissed Baekhyun on his forehead and with giving him a warm smile left him alone to finish the breakfast. “Baek, I’ll go check up on Ha Joon. Please eat something, you must be hungover.”

_“I’m a terrible father, I’ve been ignoring my son and put him under someone else’s care. I need to fix this.” Mumbling to himself, Baekhyun quickly finished his food and proceeded to the guest room where he found Ha Joon peacefully sleeping on Chanyeol’s lap. Children seem to love Chanyeol thought Baekhyun._

“Chanyeol?”

“Yes?”

“Uh… if you don’t mind. Can I take Ha Joon back to my apartment? I’ve already inconvenienced you a lot since yesterday, to the point that I made you not only look after him but also my drunk ass. I’m sorry, and thank you for everything.”

Chanyeol felt bad, the fact that Baekhyun still considered himself as a burden to other people. Sensing him hesitate, Chanyeol agreed. He walked out the father and son to the door, and just when he was about to step out…

“Baekhyun, you’re not a burden. You need to get out of this feeling, and you know that I’ll always be there for you no matter what. Just say it, and I’ll be there at the drop of my hat. Whenever, at whatever time, I’ll always come for you. You’ve always been important for me, please Baek. Understand.” With that even before the older could say anything, Chanyeol shut the door to avoid any escalation.

In fact, Baekhyun was left teary-eyed, he felt miserable as to how much he has been hurting Chanyeol all this while. Baekhyun really wants to disappear from the face of this earth, he’s ashamed of himself.

…

It’s been a week since that incident, and Chanyeol has not seen the father and son since then. It worried him, he decided to ask Baekhyun’s neighbour. And that is when his worst fears came true, Baekhyun had left with his son, leaving his house under her watch for the time being. Was Baekhyun that scared that he would leave him again? So, he wasn’t lying when he said that he would leave and not cause any further problems in the younger’s life?

The fact that this was happening to Chanyeol for the second time, was stressing him a lot. In fact, he couldn’t decide as to whether or not he was angry or disappointed or hurt. He just wanted to win back Baekhyun once and for all. And somewhere it went wrong, and he couldn’t figure out why.

“H..Hello Minseok? It’s Chanyeol.”

“Hey, Chanyeol. Did you manage to speak Baekhyun? How are things there?”

“Yes, I did… But”

“Tell him I miss him. That punk hasn’t spoken to me since he left for Japan.”

“Seok, there’s a problem.”

“Yeol? What? What did he do again?”

“He ran away again!”

“Fuck…”

…

Three weeks.

A month.

Chanyeol would probably die with anxiety. He hasn’t been able to focus on his work. He can’t seem to do anything. He has no idea where Baekhyun is. He tried calling him a hundred times, none returned and his messages left unread.

it was winter here.

Chanyeol loved winter, and Baekhyun always had a bittersweet relationship with winter.

He missed Baekhyun. He really wanted the elder to come back.

He was tired.

He was almost on the verge of giving up when suddenly his phone chimed.

It was Baekhyun.

_“Chanyeol, how long do I have to run? I’m tired. I want to live.”_

_…_

Chanyeol, couldn’t digest the fact that Baekhyun was still being stubborn and was getting this miserable. He tried calling him, but his phone was switched off.

Until…

2:01pm

“Hello?”

_“Am I speaking to Mr Park Chanyeol?”_

“Yes. May I know who is this?”

_“This is Irene, Baekhyun’s colleague.”_

“Oh, hi. Uh, may I know what is it about?”

_“Baekhyun.”_

“What about him?”

_“He’s here in Taipei. And I think you should be here. I’ll send you all the details, but please be here as soon as you can. He needs you.”_

“I will. Please let me know the details.”

_“Yes.”_

…..

Minseok and Jongdae’s patience is wearing thin, they still can’t understand as to why their friend keeps running away from all his problems. He is not only making his own life miserable but Ha Joon’s as well and Chanyeol’s.

The only number that Chanyeol has provided them with was not reachable and they had no idea as to how to contact Baekhyun.

Until, Jongdae decided that it was best to stop, to stop looking out for him and pushing him to do something that he doesn’t want to. He decided to wait until Baekhyun comes back himself and it isn’t that they would turn him away like his parents.

….

…”

He left for the airport as soon as he had been given all the details and he took the next earliest flight down to Taipei.

It was already late in the night by the time he reached the hotel where Baekhyun had been staying for the past month or rather was hiding to escape from all sorts of reality that was being thrown at him.

Just when Chanyeol was about to ask the receptionist about Baekhyun, he saw the father and son entering the hotel.

“Baekhyun-ah!”

Baekhyun froze, he couldn’t understand as to why was he hearing Chanyeol’s voice again. He tried ignoring it and walked as fast as could, but was caught on by Chanyeol.

“Baekhyun-ah, please? Why are you doing this? Talk to me, for once?”

Even before Baekhyun could say anything, Irene too appeared as well.

“Ah! You must be Chanyeol-ssi. You’re right on time and also Baekhyun, if you don’t mind, I’ll be taking Ha Joon with me for the night. It’s time you both talk it out and no running away this time.”

“It’s good to see you as well, Irene. Thank you!” replied Chanyeol. Baekhyun was extremely confused at their interaction.

Ha Joon had taken a liking to Irene since day one and did not even think once before he stretched out his arms to ask her to carry him.

“Irene. Wait, I can’t let Ha Joon go like this, he needs me. And was it you who told Chanyeol about my location?”

Irene nodded, “Yes, Baekhyun. Please don’t get upset and it’s time the two of you speak to each other and get over your misunderstandings. I’ve been taking care of Ha Joon this entire month, and I certainly don’t think he’ll mind spending some time with me today as well. Isn’t it Joonie?” she playfully pulled Ha Joon’s nose, and the baby squealed and laughed with joy.

“But…”

“No buts Baekhyun. Please. For the love of God, for one last time, let’s talk. And after this, I’ll be gone if needed.” Facing defeat, Baekhyun thanked Irene, kissed Ha Joon on his cheeks and proceeded to drag Chanyeol with him to the room.

….

Entering the room, Baekhyun did not even waste a single moment and questioned as to why Chanyeol is here.

“Baek, with all due respect but I am tired of making you understand that you need to stop running away. Forget about me but Jongdae and Minseok have been so worried for you. And I thought that post whatever happened between us last month and with Ha Joon’s sickness; I thought that we will finally mend our relationship. But...”

“Relationship? Chanyeol, it’s over and there is absolutely nothing to fix. The day I abandoned you and agreed to marry Ji Na and you, later on, got married to Kyungsoo; it’s all over. The day Ji Na left me and got married to the man she had been cheating on me with, I swore to not anyone enter my life anymore. It’s Ha Joon and me and no one else. My parents have ruined most of my life with lies and I need to focus on my career and my son.”

“Baekhyun, what are you saying?” Chanyeol could see how hurt he must have been and he couldn’t even imagine the pain he must have been going through.

“Yes, Chanyeol. Ji Na had been cheating on me throughout our married life. She fabricated most of the things that she told me when she divorced me. She’s been married for a year now with twins. I met her here in Taipei when she was accompanying her husband for some tour. Please, Chanyeol. I’m tired. I’ve hurt you enough, and I’m equally hurt. But I can’t do this anymore. You should leave, you deserve someone better and not someone who would abandon you at the drop of a hat. I’ve lied enough to you and perhaps I will never be someone like Kyungsoo, I can’t be like him.”

Chanyeol had tears in his eyes by then, but then he realized that Baekhyun’s expressions weren’t what he expected. His face had a stoic expression, almost as if he was numb from all the hurt. Chanyeol rushed to give Baekhyun a hug and feeling the warmth Baekhyun broke down like a child.

“It’s okay Baekhyun. Let it out. Cry as much as you want to, and this time I will not let you go. Forget about Ji Na and you do not have to be like Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo and you aren’t the same people. I married Soo to give him a little happiness before he died, but both us knew that we could never love each other. He did, but I couldn’t. I have always loved you. Yes, Byun Baekhyun. You. I want you to come back, fuck, I’ll do whatever it takes me to win you back. If you want me to wait, I’ll wait. But please.”

Baekhyun is made to sit on the couch, and he slowly looks at Chanyeol. Both of them were crying, while one cried out of his love and frustration, the other in frustration and betrayal. Their hearts had been played with, their love was withering, but they still somehow wanted to keep it close.

“But Chanyeol…”

“Baekhyun no ifs and buts. You have to stop running away. I love you, I promise. I’m sorry for pushing you away back then when you tried explaining it to me. But with time I realized as to how wrong was I. It wasn’t your fault, its how the circumstances were. But this time, I will not go anywhere. I’m here, I’ll always be here. I love you and Ha Joon. Baekhyun, please talk to me..”

Even before he could finish his sentence, taking a giant leap of faith, Baekhyun took the step this time and he shushed the babbling giant with a kiss. He had really missed the youngers plump lips, and they deepened their kiss. Both of them held onto each other as if even with a small loosening of their grip on each other, they might lose out on something. Clutching onto each other as tightly as possible, their breaths became one, they fought for dominance, while hiccupping through their tears.

_cradled in love._

Baekhyun slowly crept onto Chanyeol’s lap, with his hands tightening in Chanyeol’s hair. While Chanyeol possessively gripped the elder’s waist. Let the day be gone, they wouldn’t leave each other this time. Not anymore.

_“Bedroom?”_

_“Yes.” sighs Chanyeol._

_…._

_Baekhyun moaned into Chanyeol’s mouth as they somehow managed to make it to the bedroom without tripping. They weren’t ready to pull apart, Baekhyun wasn’t ready to let go. Chanyeol, gently laid Baekhyun on the bed, pulling apart the older tugged onto Chanyeol’s shirt. “Off, I want you naked.” Whispers Baekhyun, while Chanyeol unbuttons his shirt. “Always, so eager!’ chuckles Chanyeol._

_Their respective clothes have been thrown carelessly all over the room. Baekhyun goes on to tangle his hands in Chanyeol’s hair again and wraps his legs around Chanyeol’s waist. Chanyeol sneakily goes around to wrap one hand on Baekhyun’s, now leaking member with precome; and the other hand around his waist. Baekhyun tries to bite back his moans, but Chanyeol coos at him, “Love, don’t hold back. It’s been a while since I’ve heard your beautiful voice.” The fact that Chanyeol used that nickname on him, all his self-consciousness flew out of the window, a strange warm feeling rushed to his stomach, and this cock twitched at it._

_The sun was setting, with the hues of autumn and the evening sun playing in their room. It felt all too overwhelming. Reuniting with the person they’ve loved the most for all this time, and craved for; was seemingly affecting both._

_Chanyeol continued to kiss Baekhyun’s neck, sucking on the part where the next and the shoulder meets, making him shudder. He was quite proud to see the numerous hickeys blooming on the elder’s neck. He goes on to kiss every inch of his skin, worshipping the body he’s missed touching all these years. He re-maps every dip and curves; and sucks on one nipple while continuing to tease his cock, in a painfully slow manner. “Chanyeol-ah, stop teasing.” Baekhyun is almost panting, dripping and squiring in arousal._

_“Shh… let me savour this, love. It’s been a while.” Chanyeol continues sucking on the other nipple and choosing to tease the other nub with his fingers, almost edging him to the brink of an orgasm but letting it go. “Ahh! Fuck. Yeol. Please please please.” Chanyeol doesn’t even pay attention to is mindless ramblings, he knows and he still remembers how his body reacts to every touch. “Baby, you need to use your voice. Tell me what you want.” Every time during sex, Chanyeol’s voice would go an octave lower which made Baekhyun’s nerves tingle with pleasure and arousal._

_“Chan...Chan.. please.”_

_“Please what, baby?”_

_“Stop teasing. I want you in me. Pl...Please.” Baekhyun was quivering._

_“Shh.. since you asked so nicely.”_

_Baekhyun jolted at the cold sensation on his rim when Chanyeol suddenly flipped him on his stomach. Parting his ass cheeks, Chanyeol pushed in a finger, “Baby, I’ll prep you. I don’t want this to hurt. Savour and enjoy this okay? I promise to make you feel good.” With that, he licks at the rim while inserting two fingers inside. He carefully probs, making sure that he misses the prostrate, but enough to make the elder squirm with pleasure._

_Baekhyun continued to moan in broken strings, “ah ah ah... Ch…Chan so good.” The elder swears that he could feel the younger smirk while he continued to abuse his hole, “Shit Baek. You’re doing so well. So good for me, all for me. Mine.” With that, he pushed in three fingers and abused his prostrate and sucked hickeys on his inner thighs._

_“Chann… Shit. I’m gonna… please.. so cl..close..”_

_“It’s okay love, come for me. You’re doing so well.” And with that Baekhyun orgasmed hard, but Chanyeol did not stop abusing his prostrate. “Chan stop… please. I can’t.”_

_“Shhh.. baby. You can. This won’t be the only time you’ll be cumming. There’s more to come, we have all the time in this world.” With that Chanyeol slides in a pillow under his stomach, continues to rub on his prostrate and sneakily wraps his fingers around his cock, stroking him fast. Baekhyun grips onto the bedsheets, thrashing around, and just the fact that its Chanyeol; he feels the warmth pooling in his lower stomach. Even before he could realise, his second orgasm hits him hard, sending jolts across his body._

_Taking mercy on the younger, Chanyeol takes his fingers out which makes Baekhyun whimper at the loss. Chanyeol coos as the site of a blissed-out Baekhyun, continuing to moan and pant heavily with two rounds. When suddenly, Baekhyun gets up and turns to Chanyeol and kisses him deep, and climbs onto his lap. He continues to kiss him, and only to pull away so as to lube Chanyeol’s cock._

_He lubes his cock with the utmost care and continues to lower himself on Chanyeol’s cock. Even though it had been years since they last had sex, but Baekhyun’s body still remembered Chanyeol’s, long and thick cock. Chanyeol continues to kiss the daylights out of Baekhyun, while the latter begins to sinfully rotate his hips and grinds on his cock._

_“Chanyeol?”_

_“yes, love?”_

_“I love you.” Not wanting to hear Chanyeol’s reaction and fearing rejection, he shut him up with a kiss. Baekhyun was an easy person to read, sensing the insecurity he chose to stay quiet. Gripping his waist tightly, wrapping Baekhyun’s legs around his waist, he lays on his back and begins to quicken the pace. “Fuck Chanyeol. Faster. Please. Oh God!” begged Baekhyun. He could feel his lover inside of him, pounding into his ass until it turned raw. While Chanyeol kept riling him, telling him what a dirty slut he was while reaching his climax. Baekhyun had always been a sucker for dirty talks. Chanyeol showed no mercy until, they both came at the same time, as they panted and moaned._

_Basking in the afterglow, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Chanyeol not wanting to let go. An amused Chanyeol somehow managed to pull himself out of Baekhyun’s dripping hole, and quickly got a warm towel and wiped himself and Baekhyun clean from all the sweat and cum. He went ahead to pull up the covers and hug Baekhyun to sleep. Baekhyun did not stop the taller from hugging him tight to the point of suffocation; since he too had been craving for this very day since they had separated._

_With the night falling upon their love._

_“Baekhyun?”_

_“yes?”_

_“Will you stay with me?”_

_“Forever. Always.”_

_“I love you.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't write smut. kfisvlklkMD.  
> I'm embarrassed about my bad smut skills.


	9. Hold Me Close and Never Let Me Go.

_3 months later_

_Baekhyun had resigned from his job in Tokyo and was back to Seoul with his son. Chanyeol had to return back to Japan a month after their meeting in Taiwan, but he made sure to visit Baekhyun for the next two months to try and convince the older to come back home; which of course worked out._

_Back in their old apartment, Baekhyun was trying to settle back in his old life once again; but he could feel that Ha Joon was having a tough time to adjust to adult decisions. Both Chanyeol and Baekhyun understood this and made sure to constantly be there with him._

_To say that the two were back as strong as ever, would be quite an overstatement. Baekhyun was still trying to process all the things that had happened to him and he was still gathering the pieces in his life. He would continue to push Chanyeol away but the latter barely budges, he kept his ground. Every time Baekhyun would start crumbling down, the younger would immediately hold him back. Engulf him in his warmth and hold him close. Such emotions were no longer spoken, neither were their discomforts, they fit each other back perfectly like jigsaw puzzles and they understood each other’s emotions without being spoken to._

_…_

_Baekhyun’s parents were still upset with their son, refusing to accept the news about their daughter-in-law’s infidelity. They blamed their own son for failing to save their marriage and failing to protect their son; and bringing him up with Chanyeol._

_Chanyeol knew everything, but he chose to keep his lover and their son close; and shielded them from all the negativity. Minseok and Jongdae had forgiven and were helping the new family to rebuild their lives._

_After promising each other a life of togetherness, basking in their afterglow at the crack of dawn. Where the early morning rays were fluttering in the room; and Chanyeol couldn’t help but admire his lover’s calm face. “Chanyeol? Love? Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” Baekhyun’s eyes fluttered open; when his lover gently pulled him close. “Baek? Will you marry me?”_

_“What?”_

_“Byun Baekhyun, will you marry me and let me hold you close to my heart for the rest of our lives?”_

_“I wouldn’t leave again. I’ll be here. I love you Park Chanyeol, and I’ll always be yours.”_

_“Always?”_

_“Always and Forever”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update and a rushed one.   
> I wanted to continue it further but I'm hard-pressed with time. 
> 
> Apologies.

**Author's Note:**

> First fic.  
> Comments or feedbacks will be appreciated. :D
> 
> You can always hit me up on Instagram: amaryllis__kji :))


End file.
